Thanksgiving will pour out of the windows; laughter will spill through the doors. Things will get better and better. Depression days are over. They’ll thrive, they’ll flourish.
Jeremiah 30:19, The Message
You may ask how do an orphan heart and that verse go together? That is a good question!
For those of us who had either absent parents or abusive parents, we may be left with an orphan heart - meaning we feel abandoned, sad, distrustful of parental or authority figures, fearing that our relationships will not last, fear of connection, and we feel chronically dissatisfied. In addition, we may feel left behind and stuck. Perhaps the greatest loss - we don’t believe that God is trustworthy and is really for us. Rather than receiving His love, we fear punishment and loss. We feel that we have to perform in order to win the approval of Him and others.
Our earthly parents are so important in forming what we believe about ourselves. If they neglect or abuse us, we are left feeling like there is something wrong with us. And we start to work at getting their approval, and many of the above behaviors start popping up. As we get older, we kind of generalize those feelings onto God.
So, what is the cure? The cure is to accept who we are to God. That may mean working through the hurts we have from childhood. But we have to learn what is true about ourselves and replace the distorted thoughts of our childhood with God’s truth about us. The Bible calls this renewing our minds. In the counseling world, it is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. What we think affects how we feel and behave. If we think negatively about ourselves, this will turn into negative thoughts and behaviors. And if you think about it, it makes alot of sense. An example would be that I thought I caused my abuse, which led to very negative thoughts about myself, others, and God. As I have healed, I have learned that taking responsibility for my abuse was wrong. And as I processed all of this, I have learned more and more about who I am to the Lord. He loves me - and you - so much more than we can imagine! His Word says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made and that His works - us - are wonderful! That is cause for Thanksgiving to pour out of the windows!